"When I finished school, I took one of those career aptitude
tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested
I become a mime." - Tim Cavanagh
"A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead."
- Stan Laurel
"Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of
your life in which you will be happy to hear that the phone
is for you." -Fran Lebowitz
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
What do you get from a pampered cow?
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree
would kill you?
A pool table.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
They all have phones.
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.